NEW: The Present, TOS, K/S 1/1 Title: The Present Author: Dread Nought Code: K/S Series: TOS Rating: NC-17 Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom own these guys. This is a not-for-profit work. Feedback: spock42@yahoo.com Warning: male male sexual situation Archive: sure and Trekslash Summary: The new captain buys a holiday gift for his first and gets more than expected in return. Notes: Thanks to Bats for betaing. ************************************************** The Present Kirk paused at the windows of the shop--the aged, dark wood framing the panes had captured his attention. His errand for Admiral Kent completed, he was exploring the edge of the retail district of the Cyrus Eleven spaceport. He squinted his eyes near the glass; the thick paned windows barely allowed the sunlight to illuminate the unusual shapes crowded within the small store. He thought of the crew's preparations for Earth solstice and end-of-year celebrations. The crew would be giving gifts to one another. This place looked as though it might contain an antique medical instrument or two that would make a nice present for McCoy, the only crewmember he knew well enough to present with a gift. After less than four months at the helm he possibly knew Chief Engineer Scott well enough, but he could not bring himself to buy scotch for someone in such a critical position on his ship. A Black Forest clock, modified to serve as a door chime, coo-cooed as he stepped inside. His eyes traced the interior, failing to identify the boundaries of the closely packed objects. Decorative boxes, statues, vases, lamps, and many other unidentifiable things sat atop antique tables and on shelves lining the walls. A few brand new, brushed metal comp-terminals with jeweled buttons stood beside a ship's whale-oil lantern. Kirk picked up the lantern with interest. "Good day, Sir." Kirk hadn't heard the shopkeeper approach. He set the lantern back down and greeted the small, thin man of indeterminate age. "Looking for a gift?" the man inquired in a soft voice. Kirk smiled. "Yes." "For someone who is difficult to select a gift for, I presume." "What makes you say that?" Kirk asked amiably. The man shrugged slowly. "No one comes into my store looking for a gift for someone who is easy to buy for." An idea solidified in Kirk's mind. "Would you have anything Vulcan?" "Ahhh..." The grey-haired man moved easily among the overloaded tables to the narrow space behind the counter. "Well, I have an old mistreated harp, but I can tell by looking at you that you that you are a far more discriminating buyer than that." He pulled a large felt sack from a low cupboard full of musical instruments. Setting the lyre down on a small clear space on the counter he pulled the sack away. Even Kirk's untrained eye could see that time and previous owners had been unkind to the harp. It was only half strung and had scratches and chips along one edge. "I do not know anyone with the expertise to tell me if it is worth recovery. I obtained it as part of a local estate and have kept it in case it is from an exceptional maker." "He has a lyre already," Kirk said. The man merely nodded and with practiced ease, flipped the sack back over the instrument and put it away. "Hmmmm," he said in thought as he stood upright. Kirk waited patiently as the man considered. He was grateful for any gift advice; trying to think of an appropriate gift for Spock lead him to realize how little he had learned about him. The Vulcan had an unbroachable wall around himself at all times. "I assume some antique toys would be of no interest," the man said. "Have you any Vulcan games? Strategy ones. Something similar to chess, maybe?" Such an item would make an excellent present Kirk realized, though upon further reflection he would have to steel himself to being beaten soundly at any game from Spock's home planet. "Once, years ago, I had a Vulcan game which was played with little multi-colored pieces on a honeycombed board. Similar to Othello, as I recall. It was sold long ago, I'm afraid." He waved his hand in dismissal of that idea. Kirk had to admit to a tinge of relief of this pronouncement. "Ahhh..." the shopkeeper said and moved to a glass-fronted cabinet in the corner near the entrance. "I obtained this from a retiring freighter captain, under orders, so to speak, from her husband to off-load most of the junk, his word, she had collected in her sixty years in space." He carefully lifted a translucent box from the back of a packed shelf. As he brought it close, Kirk could see a thin metallic coating on the worn surface. From inside he pulled a heavy, soft-edged, organically-shaped stone of the same translucent material. Kirk took the pro-offered object. The first thing he noticed was that the filtered sunlight was now slanting across the crowded countertop, when it had been across the floor. He looked up at the shopkeeper in confusion. "Interesting, isn't it?" Kirk looked down at the stone in his hands again and this time felt the pull on his mind in time to abort it drawing him in again. He almost dropped the object. The man lifted it out of his hands and held it up to the light. Its cloudy interior glowed as it caught the light. "It only had you for eighteen minutes, that is the shortest I've seen. How do you feel now?" he man asked in his slow, metered speech. Kirk shook himself of the instinctive alarm germinating in him--A Vulcan object would not do him any harm. He felt amazingly relaxed and at peace as though he had awakened from a refreshing nap. "I feel like I've been worked on by a team of Swedish masseurs for the last three hours." Indeed, that base-of-the-skull tension that always dogged him was a dim memory. The man laughed--a pleasant sound of honest amusement. "What is it exactly?" Kirk asked. The shopkeep put the object back in the box, leaving the lid off. "It is a Vulcan meditation stone. I did as much research on it as I could using our local library computers. I didn't learn much except that they are quite rare--only a few dozen exist in registered collections. I do know from experience that the box seems to shield its effects." Kirk stared down at the curved surface of the stone. He easily resisted its pull now. He would have to actively want to be drawn in for the stone to work again. He visualized himself giving such a gift to Spock, who probably wouldn't be getting any presents. The image was irresistible. "How much is it?" ------- "Mr. Scott?" Kirk put his head into the chief engineer's tiny office. The desk and every other horizontal space were piled with data tapes. Montgomery Scott sat back in his chair holding his pad reader like a parent might hold a small child. He was completely absorbed in whatever was on the screen. "Uh, Captain." He put his feet down from the corner of the desk. "I, uh, didn't expect you down here..." He scrambled to arrange the tapes on the desk somewhat. Kirk waved him off. "Don't worry about it until inspection." Scott didn't seem to hear him and a stack of precarious tapes slid over into a heap in the middle of the desk as he straightened around them. Distracted, he said, "I've been reading up on the new water scrubbers we're installin'. We need to figure out how to run the old system and the new system in parallel but they both depend upon a set back pressure and if they're both online, well, the pressure'll be wrong an'-" "I have a favor to ask," Kirk interrupted. "Aye?" Scotty said, finally giving up on the tapes. Kirk pulled the shopping bag out from behind his back and took the box out of it. "Can you take a look at this and tell me if it is safe to have it aboard ship?" He set the translucent box on the desk. Scotty picked it up and moved to open it. Kirk forestalled him. "Maybe you can scan it without opening it..." Scott reached down to the floor for his tools. After several minutes of quiet scanning and concentration he scratched his chin in thought. "Well it is an entirely passive device..." "Device?" "'Object', if you prefer. It has an internal structure not unlike a memory cube. I canna see how it could do any harm, though I've nev'r seen anything like it before. What is it?" "A Vulcan meditation stone." Scott looked at Kirk strangely. "I thought I'd try to find a holiday gift for our XO," Kirk explained with a touch of sheepishness. "You're a braver man than most, Captain." Kirk returned him a curious look. "You have'na been around to know that most times the crew's making merry, the science officer makes himself quite scarce and, well, unapproachable." "Hmmm," Kirk said in thought. "You definitely found an interestin' gift though. He can study it if nothing else." Kirk's eyebrows furrowed at this pessimistic proclamation. "Do you want to see what it can do?" Scott shrugged. "Aye." Kirk reached for the latch on the box. "Note the time," he commanded. Scott glanced up at the wall chrono. "You don't have anyplace you need to be in the next fifteen minutes, do you?" he asked as he lifted the stone out of the box. The engineer shook his head. "Neigh, I've..." Kirk set the stone in his hand. Kirk watched as Scott's face went expressionless and glanced at the clock himself. It read two minutes after the hour. Scott barely appeared to be breathing. Just over five minutes later, Scott looked up at Kirk as if no break had occurred. Kirk suppressed his disappointment and nodded at the clock. Scott's brow lowered in consternation. "Hummf," he said as he set the stone back into the box. "I don't see much use in something that makes one lose time, though I suppose a Vulcan might see some worth in it." Kirk closed the box. Scott picked up his pad as if to continue where he left off. "Hmmm, ya know if we rig a Thibideaux valve we can cycle between the two systems with almost no loss in pressure. Aye, that will work Captain!" Grinning, Kirk chided, "A little meditation makes for clear thinking, I hear." Scott looked up at him as if he had no idea what he was referring to. "Never mind," Kirk said as he put the box back in the bag. ------- Mister Scott's prediction of Spock's behavior turned out to be correct. Kirk left the solstice party early to hunt his missing exec down, dodging Ensign Glover standing under the mistletoe at the rec room door. Not wanting to be caught wandering the halls carrying a wrapped gift he ran a visual search for him from his terminal. Spock wasn't in the computer core, on the bridge, or any of the labs, leading Kirk to the conclusion that he was in his quarters. Kirk pulled the wrapped box from his bottom dresser drawer, adjusted the partially crushed bow, and headed for the first officer's quarters. He stuck his head into the hall to check it was empty before stepping out with the gift in hand. Fortunately he hadn't far to go as their quarters were side-by-side. With ears listening for the lift or the hiss of a crewmember leaving their quarters, Kirk pressed the buzzer. There was a short pause before the doors opened to reveal Spock. Holding the present behind his back, Kirk asked, "May I come in?" Spock stepped back. "As you wish, Captain." It was only Kirk's third time in Spock's quarters. The room was hotter than he remembered and Kirk wondered if somehow Spock had managed to make the artificial gravity just a little higher. Spock distracted him from his musing about what kind of strain that would put on the hull. "I am at your service, Captain." "Oh, yes. Actually this is not ships business." Kirk realized that he hadn't thought this through. Spock stood beside his desk with his hands behind his back looking as enigmatic as usual, dark eyes full of guarded scrutiny. Kirk had, for the most part, grown accustomed to that look. Humans missed a lot; Spock, he assumed, missed nothing. "I couldn't help but notice you haven't participated in any festivities," Kirk said, giving the other equal scrutiny. An eyebrow went up and Spock's shifted to crossing his arms in front of himself. "I must admit to having no interest in Earth holidays, Captain." A few questions about Spock's mother jumped to mind--Kirk clamped his mouth down on them. "Well, I have to admit to a bit of a habit of adherence to Earth traditions, Spock. I'm afraid that means you are not going to be able to isolate yourself completely." Kirk pulled the present from behind his back and held it out. Spock studied the silver papered box and bow a moment then looked at Kirk. "It's for you," the captain confirmed. After an atypical hesitation, Spock took the package and held it. "By Western Earth tradition you are supposed to open it right away," Kirk teased. Spock easily pulled the bow aside and carefully unsealed the tape. He set the undamaged wrapping and bow on the desk and studied the box with expert interest. Kirk fought the urge to fidget by locking his hands behind his back. Spock opened the box and with furrowed brow lifted the stone. Four seconds, Kirk counted, until Spock blinked and looked at Kirk in surprise. Spock moved to his desk where he retrieved his tricorder from the drawer. He set the stone down and scanned it. "Where did you get this, Captain?" "Cyrus Eleven. They said it was a Vulcan meditation stone." Spock shook his head. "It is not." Kirk's heart flipped once. "It's not? What is it?" Spock scanned a few minutes, turning the stone occasionally. "I do not know." He put his elbow on the table and his chin on his fist, the flat of his thumb pressed against his lip. He stared at the stone deep in thought. It was such a human looking posture that Kirk had to put his own hand over his mouth to hide his amusement. "It is quite an interesting object," Spock said, falling into lecture mode. "I can understand the confusion, it does have some of the same external properties as a Vulcan meditation stone. A meditation stone is "programmed," so to speak, by an adept over a long period of time, rendering a kind of memory into the material's matrix. This matrix can then be used by another to assist in achieving a deeper state of meditation. This object, on the other hand, is constructed, perhaps by some kind of nanobot manufacture, one molecule at a time." He looked up at Kirk. "Mister Scott thought it looked like a passive memory cube." Spock pursed his lips. "I would concur except I would not consider it passive." Kirk backup up a bit. "Is it dangerous?" Spock looked at the tricorder screen. "I can see it reacting to my brain waves as I consciously modify them. It appears to be capable of reprogramming its matrix to adapt its reaction to the minds around it. 'Reaction' is different, however, from 'action' about which I would most certainly be concerned." He adjusted the scan. "Fascinating," he said, "I think I may know where this came from. If my nanotechnology theory is correct, this is most likely an artifact from XN-365, a planet about two hundred and forty-three light years from our present location." He activated the desk terminal and read a few pages at his usual lightening pace. "Items similar to this have been recorded as coming from XN-365. Are you familiar with it?" Kirk shook his head. "It is a formerly inhabited planet which was discovered thirty-seven light years ago just before its system was enveloped by the Ilaria Nebula. There was insufficient time for a proper archaeological expedition to catalog it and now it is extremely difficult to gain access to it. A number of private ships reportedly raided artifacts from the surface while it was accessible. In one hundred and fifty-three years when the system emerges from the nebula, more will be learned I am certain." Spock looked up at Kirk with a more mild expression than normal. "A very interesting gift, Captain." Kirk stood straight. "Oh, yes, glad you like it," he said, somewhat taken aback. "Not what I thought I was giving you." Spock stood also. "I am nonetheless pleased to accept it, Captain." Kirk smiled at him. "Good. You're not easy to buy for." "Indeed?" Spock asked with a somewhat overly innocent tone that made Kirk chuckle. "Why, Mister Spock, I believe you are getting into the spirit of things." Spock responded only with a raised eyebrow. Not wanting to drag the moment out longer than he thought Spock would tolerate, Kirk said, "I think I'm going to do the rounds of the parties one last time, then get some sleep since I volunteered to take half of the third shift on the bridge." He walked to the door. "Good evening, Commander." "Captain." ------- Kirk rode the turbolift toward engineering with a light heart. He felt better about his rapport with his first than he had since he'd come aboard. Upon taking command, he had poured over Pike's logs to familiarize himself with his new officers. Pike had been completely unrevealing on the subject of Spock. Considering that he had served under him for seventeen years, you'd have expected the man to have some insight. That he didn't had disappointed Kirk, who'd found his now second in command to be a tempting challenge. Unfortunately, his thoughts had distracted Kirk enough that he didn't see, in time, an exceedingly drunk Mister Sulu under the mistletoe at the door to the botany lab party. The captain finally managed, hours later, to make it back to his quarters. Nearly every party had the same reaction to his presence: initial honor dwindling to caution. Since Kirk's intent hadn't been to disrupt all-important stress-relief, he'd been careful not to overstay his welcome. Still, there had been a lot of different parties and he was looking now at a mere four and a half hours of sleep. He stripped and fell into bed feeling an unusual exhaustion. ------- Kirk awoke suddenly in the middle of a complicated dream. His command training kicked in as he found his arms immobilized. Adrenaline surged in his blood--he could feel the heat of it in his biceps and neck. He opened his eyes, noting that his legs seemed to be free. "Spock," he said factually. The face above him didn't react; Kirk expected an eyebrow to rise, at least. Kirk's well-trained mind was feeding him an action assessment that included such facts as Spock's vastly superior strength, intelligence, and the wildcard that was that damn stone. "Spock?" He repeated to no reaction. "Comp-" A hand clamped firmly over his mouth. _God, he's fast,_ Kirk thought. "Computer, voice system off." Spock said. _Shit._ "Acknowledged." The hand was removed from Kirk's mouth. "What happened?" Kirk asked with concern. Spock didn't respond, just bent down over his neck. Kirk stiffened, but nothing happened. Spock just held that position. Kirk could hear his own heart pounded, could feel the hot breath on his neck. His legs were free, he might be able to throw Spock off if he could curl enough in one motion to get his feet up to Spock's midsection. He heaved his legs up, piking his feet to catch Spock's ribs when he straightened them again. In one motion, as Kirk moved, Spock caught both of Kirk's wrists in one hand and with the other blocked his thighs and forced them to the bed where he put a leg over them to hold them down. The blow to his thighs throbbed painfully as Kirk reassessed. He tried to get his mind around the possibility that Spock's left arm could overcome both his legs. With a few revealing twitches, Kirk forced his muscles to relax. Memories of numerous vicious wrestling matches he lost as a child to his older brother flooded him, which didn't improve his mood. "I am not Sam, Captain," Spock stated. Kirk closed his eyes as feral fear seeped into his mind. It had a metallic taste he had almost forgotten. Command training kicked in again and he cleared his mind. Spock bent over him again, this time warm lips moved against his collarbone and drifted down his chest. Kirk considered other self-defense moves. Nothing would work without the element of surprise. Spock's free hand explored over his bare hip before moving over his abdomen. It was a gentle touch that made it hard to concentrate. "Spock..." he began. _Spock wouldn't do this,_ he thought. "Who are you?" he asked with as much honest questioning as he could muster. The dark head came up and thought a moment. "I was never given a name in the manner you are referring." _Now we're getting somewhere,_ Kirk thought. His thoughts were interrupted as he was rolled onto his back and straddled. Spock released his hands to remove his blue tunic. Kirk considered trying to toss the other onto the floor. _He cannot be out-muscled,_ the rational part of his mind insisted. His wrists were captured again and held against the bed beside his hips. The dark head bent again and nuzzle his abdomen, coming uncomfortably close to his groin. Anger at his helplessness was pushing bile into Kirk's throat. "Stop it," he shouted. Spock looked up and considered him. "Why are you doing this?" Kirk asked. The face before Kirk looked honestly confused by the question. "I am delivering the present," he said factually. "What?" Kirk's mind spun. "I don't understand." "You wished to gift this being something, I am quite certain I read that in you." As he spoke, Spock moved forward and lowered himself so his chest hovered just above Kirk's. The heat radiating from the bare Vulcan torso was incredible. Spock's voice now was just at his ear. "This being wants you." "Oh, dear." Kirk whispered. A hot mouth had taken in his earlobe. Oddly what really worried Kirk now was how he was going to manage to salvage a working relationship with Spock when this was all over. His hands had been released, he grasped Spock by the shoulders and pushed him away so he could look him in the face. "Look...whatever you are...let me talk to Spock a moment." "He can hear you." "I was afraid you'd say that." Kirk's hands were ripped from lean shoulders one and a time and pressed over his head. Kirk refused to be intimidated by this show of strength. "Look, Spock would not want you to do this. If you are doing this for him, don't you need to consider that?" He couldn't decide if he should treat this thing as a computer or as a lifeform. "I am merely fulfilling the programming you gave me." "Not like this." "This is the only way. This being will not express this desire without my assistance." "Then maybe it should remain unexpressed," Kirk insisted. "Do you know how lonely this being is?" Spock's countenance asked. This stabbed unexpectedly at Kirk, making his chest ache. "Look, I would do anything to ease Spock's pain...but what you're doing is going to kill him. Loss of control has got to be the absolutely worst torment for a Vulcan." Spock considered this. "He does seem to be rather unhappy about this. Even finally touching you has not reduced his struggle against me. I do not comprehend it." Spock from his position above him, looked him up and down. "He sees your beauty and knows he can have it but still he is displeased." "You were built for a different race, a different culture, you can't understand us." Spock's head shook. "Those concepts are beyond my scope." Kirk took a deep breath. "This just needs to stop, please." "This is the only way to fulfill your wish for a gift." "I understand that. But it is all right. Just stop." "I shall stop, then." As the program released him, Spock's body went limp, smacking audibly against Kirk's chest as he fell. Kirk rolled the gasping form to the side, cradling him. "I tried to fight it, Captain," he managed between breaths. His whole body shivered violently. Kirk wrapped the bed covers around the thin frame and pulled Spock against himself. "I know, Spock. It's all right now." Spock was breathless as though he had been sprinting a long distance. "Rest for a few minutes until you recover." Eventually the shuddering eased. Kirk stroked Spock's head in comfort. "I am so sorry, Spock. It was idiotic of me to bring an unknown alien artifact aboard. When you've caught your breath, I'll take you to McCoy." Spock didn't respond. Kirk stared down at the angular features resting on his arm. Spock either didn't mind the closeness or was too weak to protest. Spock still had on his pants and boots, Kirk, on the other hand, needed to get dressed. He carefully pulled out of the embrace and stood. After throwing on yesterday's uniform, Kirk patted Spock's arm and helped him to sit up. "Let's get you to sickbay." The other didn't respond, but he didn't resist either. Kirk led him to the lift with a hand around his waist. When the doors opened on the deck with sickbay, sounds of a raucous party floated down the hall. "Wait here," Kirk commanded as he hit the hold button. Spock leaned, exhausted, against the wall of the lift. Kirk looked at him a moment before stepping into the hall; he had never seen Spock like this. Sickbay's party still seemed to be in full-swing. To McCoy and M'Benga he said sharply, "Which of you is sober?" "I am," M'Benga replied. Chapel swooped in with a hypo which she injected into McCoy. "He will be too in a moment." McCoy turned to her. "You ruining my party?" "Both of you, now," Kirk commanded hotly and headed for the door. M'Benga grabbed a kit and followed. At the lift, Kirk found Spock had slid to the floor and now sat with his head tilted back against the wall. M'Benga stepped around Kirk and they both crouched beside the Vulcan. "What happened?" the doctor asked as he moved the scanner in front of Spock's bare chest. "It's a long story. Is he all right?" "He has no physical injuries." M'Benga snapped open his medical tricorder and used that as well. He shook his head. "He is in severe psycho-physio distress." "What does that mean?" Kirk demanded. McCoy had crouched between them. "What happened?" M'Benga closed his tricorder. "The Vulcan mind directly controls far more of the physical body than a human mind. When they suffer a brain injury, or what appears in this case to be some kind a psychological trauma, their bodies suffer." He looked at McCoy. "We need to get him out of here." Kirk jumped to his feet and strode down the hallway. "Everyone, clear the corridor." He leaned into sickbay. "Everyone who is not on-duty medical personnel, out!" He then raced back to the lift where the doctors had Spock on his feet. Kirk took over for McCoy and they maneuvered him into the ward and sat him on the end of a bed. Kirk stood in front of Spock, keeping an eye on him. It was painful to see the weakness, the bowed head, and realize that extreme stress was the cause. McCoy and M'Benga were arguing behind Kirk about possible treatments. They didn't sound very certain. The panel above the bed didn't look normal, but Kirk wasn't sure what normal for Spock was. Almost too quiet to hear, Spock said, "What I have done is unforgivable, Captain." Kirk started and grabbed Spock by the shoulders. "Both of you out of here," he turned his head and ordered. "What?" McCoy asked in disbelief. "You heard me." "Captain, he is our patient," McCoy said, standing his ground. "Give me two minutes with him alone. Now. That is a direct order." Kirk said angrily. With surprised expressions, they both evacuated to the other ward. As the door hissed shut Kirk grabbed Spock's head in his hands. "Look at me." Spock's eyes reluctantly came up. "I brought that thing on board; this is entirely my responsibility. Do you understand that? It followed my programming; that is why it took over your mind." Spock didn't appear to respond. Kirk shook him, hard. "Everything I've said is true. Engage that logic, damnit." Spock's dark eyes finally focused on him. "It was my desire it acted on," he said quietly. "I was not strong enough to fight it." "Spock, I've news for you: there are many things in this universe that are stronger than you. That's not your fault." Kirk released Spock's head and grasped the lean shoulders affectionately instead. "I'm all right and you'd be all right too if you'd let your common sense take over. Please, don't punish yourself or whatever it is you are doing." Kirk watched as Spock took a slow breath and straighten his back. Kirk released his shoulders. "That's better," he said and smiled at the Vulcan. The door whooshed open and the two doctors stormed in. "Captain..." McCoy began then saw the stabilized readings on the diagnostic bed. Both doctors stared at the captain who shrugged. "Have a little faith in me. Especially you, McCoy." Kirk spoke without reproach. He stepped back and watched as they settled Spock in for observation, convincing him to lay down and rest. After the doctors left, Kirk sat on the next bed and watched his first. Spock studied him a moment in confusion before mental exhaustion pulled him into sleep. Internally, Kirk kept kicking himself. The whole thing was too close for comfort. Rules regarding artifacts were strict for a reason, and if a crewmember had brought something like this onboard, he'd have reprimanded them harshly. An hour later the wall chronometer read 03:50, he was due on the bridge. He walked over to the bed and placed a hand on Spock's upper arm. Dark eyes opened and regarded him. "I have to go to the bridge now." Spock returned the same slightly confused look he gave Kirk earlier. "I didn't want you to wake up and find me gone." This didn't seem to clarify things. "If you need me, let McCoy know." "I do not expect to, Captain." Kirk squeezed the arm under his hand. "No, I suppose not." ------- Later that day, after security had locked the device in storage to await delivery to the research university on Caprati One, Kirk was facing McCoy in the doctor's office having just finished telling the CMO exactly what transpired. "I wouldn't have believed it," McCoy said, looking up at the young captain sitting on the edge of his desk. "Believed I could be so stupid?" Kirk asked. "If there had been any indication the damn thing wasn't Vulcan in origin..." "No, believed that Spock would be harboring a secret desire for you. I haven't seen any indication of it." "With Spock, would you expect to?" McCoy sat back in his chair, locking his hands over his abdomen. "Doesn't bother you?" Kirk appeared a little surprised by the question. "No." "You're certain?" McCoy drilled. "Positive. Why should it?" McCoy took a deep breath. "Well, your psych profile shows your homosexual encounters to be few and far between. You are new at this job of captain--you could feel this to be a threat to your command, especially considering the nature of the encounter." Kirk took an interest in the floor as he turned his attention inward. "It doesn't bother me from that perspective. But...I must admit I am affected by it in another way." He fell silent a moment. "I have wanted to get to know Spock a little better." "Well, you do have to command with him." "It is more than that--I find him intriguing." McCoy traced his teeth with his tongue. "Hmmm, 'Intriguing,' eh?" Kirk finally looked back to the doctor. "You don't think he's sort of... mysterious...fascinating?" "Not particularly." Kirk stood, noting McCoy's eyes following him closely, trying to see deeper. "Well, I should be getting back to the bridge. What is Spock's status?" "I sent him to his quarters and pulled him off-duty for seventy-two hours." Kirk was at the door. "That sounds like a good idea. He looked wiped out." "Fighting that thing was very hard on him." McCoy said. It sounded like a warning. ------- Five days later, Kirk entered the New Year's party in engineering with Spock in tow. He hadn't quite ordered the first officer to attend but Spock may have interpreted his will that way. After discovering that most of the officers felt the same gap between themselves and Spock that Mr. Scott had expressed, Kirk was determined to bridge it as soon as possible. A quarter of the crew seemed to be present. Kirk circled the room, trying to make eye contact with everyone. It was a good opportunity to add more personal observation to the files he had memorized on everyone. After he had circled the room once, McCoy caught up with him. "How goes it, Captain?" he asked. Kirk nodded, grateful that the tipsy doctor had not used his old familiar name for him, "Jimbo". McCoy gestured at the first officer near the wall who was talking with Mr. Sulu. "He looks like he is back to his old self." Kirk looked over at Spock, who instantly met his gaze before returning it to the helmsman. Kirk then looked at McCoy, and determined that the doctor spoke in complete seriousness. "What is it?" McCoy asked. Kirk shook him off. "Nothing. You must be right: he has recovered. His performance measures for the last two days have been normal." Kirk worked his way over to Spock. Sulu bowed out of the conversation with the Vulcan as he saw the captain approach, leaving the two of them alone along the wall. Kirk took a swig of the 'locally brewed' punch and looked out across the room. Quietly he said, "It's strange. Everyone seems to think you look like your normal self, but you don't look it to me." Spock's head moved away a bit, as though an invisible hand had slapped him. Kirk was unrelenting. "Is your control weaker or am I just seeing through you now?" "Perhaps some of each," Spock replied stiffly. "I want to talk to you. Let's go somewhere else." Kirk headed for the door. Spock, having no option, followed. Kirk led the way to the less-used observation room on the lab deck. Moving to the window, he looked over at the Vulcan and watched as Spock pulled layers of control over himself, something Kirk had never noticed before. He turned and stared out at the stars for a minute, thinking. When he turned back to Spock, Kirk had shifted from blunt straightforward to quiet affection. Spock's focal point seemed to be somewhere beyond the transparent aluminum but not all the way to the glowing milky way. Kirk had the feeling his gaze was actually internal. "I get the sense that something is still bothering you," Kirk said. "Our command relationship is extremely important to me. What can I do to alleviate your concerns?" Spock looked as though he wanted to speak, but held back. Finally he said, "You will not allow me to claim responsibility for what happened." "Hell, no." Kirk replied. An eyebrow went up--Kirk could see it now as an expression of frustration. Spock swallowed. "I am concerned about your loss of trust in me." "I haven't lost trust in you. Have I given you any indication that I have?" Spock furrowed his brow and shook his head. "It is impossible that you would not have..." "Spock," Kirk said sternly, then sighed. "Here..." Spock turned to him. "Give me your hands." The other hesitated before raising his hands in front of himself. Using his left hand, Kirk wrapped Spock's right hand around his own right wrist, then held up his left beside it. "Grab them both," he commanded. As if burned, Spock jerked his hands away and took a step back. Kirk caught his arms before he could retreat farther. "Spock..." Kirk said in a voice laden with concern, "you haven't recovered from this at all." Spock's head quivered a moment before he regained control. "I cannot threaten you." "You aren't," Kirk insisted. "That's the point I'm trying to make." "Even though you know of my...desire." Kirk looked into the dark hooded eyes. In command training at the academy they had warned of the intoxication caused by a new command, the feeling of invulnerability that could prove deadly. Kirk hadn't experienced that recklessness until this moment. "You know, if you care to fulfill that desire--I am willing." For an instant, an intense hunger burned in the Vulcan's eyes and then was gone. He shook his head. "It would not be wise," he said, then added quietly, "but it is...tempting." Kirk's grin prompted Spock to ask, "You find that amusing?" Kirk shook his head. "I find it flattering, actually." "You do not understand Vulcans." "No, I suppose I don't. But that isn't by choice," he added with a hint of seduction. He leaned back against the transparency and looked at Spock staring out. "You must not have let Pike in at all. After reading his logs I think I know more about you already then he ever did." Spock hesitated before responding, "He never tried." More quietly Kirk said, "I meant what I said: I'd do anything to ease your pain." "It is submerged now, it is of no concern." "Hmmm," Kirk said in thought. Knowing what he did gave him an unfair advantage over the Vulcan. He tried to gauge how much farther he could push it. Spock looked relatively calm as he stood with arms clasped behind his back, the starlight reflecting in his eyes. "I hope that over time I can get you to trust me." Spock turned his gaze to him, eyebrows low as he considered that. "That is the essence of it, Spock," Kirk continued. "You have proven trustworthy so far," Spock stated, "with the exception that I cannot trust you to keep yourself out of harms way." Kirk gave him an innocent expression. "Really?" Kirk crossed his arms. "That is a tactical issue, not a personal one." "No, it is not," Spock said with a strength that caught Kirk completely off guard. "You are asking for an emotional investment when the risk of loss is too high." Kirk blinked at him in surprise. "All right, that's fair enough. How about this: I consult you more thoroughly before taking action. Unless..." he held his index finger, "unless lives are immediately at stake. And you...give me a chance." Spock considered that with a vaguely consternated expression. "Are those two equal in your mind?" Shrugging, Kirk answered, "I am trying to address all concerns." He watched Spock think it over. Watched that incredible mind applied to a problem unlike any it had encountered before. Eventually Spock said, "I am not certain what I get out of it." Kirk froze, trying to mask the sting. Spock pursed his lips as he noted the human's reaction. "And then there is that," Spock stated. "What?" "I have a tendency to inadvertently harm those who have risked emotion on my behalf." Kirk shook his head. "You are only saying what you think." "Yes, and that makes it worse, does it not?" "No, not to me. It is a legitimate question. I don't think I can give you an answer that you will understand. It is something you have to experience." "Perhaps if you could clarify...?" Kirk held out his hand. "I am offering you friendship, Spock. You don't have to accept it until you trust me enough to do so." Spock looked down at the pro-offered hand then studied Kirk's face closely. "With that caveat, I believe I can accept." He awkwardly laid his hand on Kirk's upraised palm. Kirk squeezed it and covered it with his other hand briefly before releasing him. "I look forward to getting to know you better," Kirk said in a conversational tone, then noticed the wall chrono. "It is almost oh-hundred." He headed for the door. "Coming?" he asked the unmoving Vulcan. Spock shook his head. "It is too loud for my comfort, Captain." "Oh yes, I can imagine." Kirk hung near the door, vacillating. "You should be there, Captain." Kirk set his jaw. "You're right, of course." He turned and the door triggered. "I'll see you tomorrow on the bridge." His face lit with an affectionate smile. "Good night, Spock." "Good night, Captain." The door slid closed. Spock turned back to the snaking, organic glow of the galactic mass. He imagined that he felt the artifact's matrix flicker weakly across his thoughts. _You can have everything you want..._ _It is not that simple._ Spock insisted. _But it is,_ the thought came back, accompanied by the image of Kirk's muscular nakedness beneath him. It required extreme will to keep his physical reaction in check. He locked his mind down with the firmest control he knew. The stone would be offship in less than four days, he could hold out against it until then. _I only show you what is within,_ a last stray thought said and then the feel of it faded out. ------- Kirk awoke from a sound sleep to the feel of a hand pulling the coverlet back. A hot mouth descended on his throat. He recognized the alien scent before he opened his eyes. _This has got to stop,_ Kirk thought. _To hell with archaeological value--we should have just vaporized the thing._ "Spock," Kirk said. Very warm hands stroked his sides, igniting his gut. Spock shifted over him dragging his erection across Kirk's abdomen. He grabbed Spock by the shoulders and sat them both up, relief flooded him when Spock didn't resist the motion. "Spock," he repeated, shaking him. In the middle of reaching to pull Kirk's torso against his own, Spock snapped out of it. With consternation, Spock said, "The device seemed quite weak at a distance..." "Strong enough apparently," Kirk stated wryly. "I must apologize..." Spock said as he let his hands fall away from the sides of Kirk's ribcage. "It's all right." Kirk studied him, tried to gauge his psychological state. Spock seemed to be taking in their position. Kirk gave him a crooked smile, "In fact, if you had come in here _after_ we'd gotten rid of that thing, rather than while it is still onboard...well...we could make something of it." Spock's eyes narrowed as he absorbed that comment. "You are serious?" he asked. At Kirk's nod he added, "It seems so unwise..." Kirk slid out from under the Vulcan and pulled the covers up around the spare frame, unable to keep his eyes from passing over the straining, coppery erection before the blanket bundled over it. He was surprised it hadn't faded and realized he knew just about zero about Vulcan sexuality. He pulled an invisible uniform over his own nakedness and shifted to face Spock on the bed. "Are you going to be all right?" Spock nodded, gripping the silvery, knit blanket around himself, then bowed his head in a momentary lapse of control. Ignoring, as he seemed to always be now, the precept that you don't touch a Vulcan, Kirk put his hand on a lean shoulder. It caused Spock to straighten, his face to go expressionless. Kirk's mind played back the image of the amazing cock he saw on the other and fearing Spock would sense his reaction, pulled his hand away. Spock took this as some kind of cue and stood up. Spock's uniform lay beside the divider. He stooped to pick it up. Kirk followed him and said, "Stay for a little while. Have a seat." He indicated the small couch beside his desk. "I want to make sure you are really all right. Then I'll have the computer confine you to quarters until that thing is off-ship." Spock sat down slowly, holding his clothing under one arm while he held the blanket closed with the other. His eyes fixed on a point just to the left of the door. Kirk threw on a work-out suit and sat at his desk. He thought of pulling up some paperwork on the terminal, instead he rested his chin on his hand and considered the other. "I didn't make this much of a holiday for you, did I?" Spock opened his mouth then shut it again. "You were about to say that it wasn't my fault. We've been over that." Kirk felt himself slipping into command mode. It was easier now that he was clothed. Command mode made it much easier to not imagine whether the skin of Spock's shaft felt as silky as it looked. _Boy, McCoy would have a field day with my thoughts right now,_ Kirk thought. Spock shifted and began straightening his clothing. Kirk switched on the terminal to the default message screen to safely focus his wandering eyes. When Spock had dressed he stepped up to the other side of Kirk's desk. "Am I dismissed, Captain?" Spock asked. "Sure." Spock walked toward the door. "Just a moment." Kirk stood and came over to the other, studying him for any sign of the breakdown he had witnessed before. Spock looked fully in control, but if Kirk had been forced to pin a human label on the emotion clouding the dark eyes he would had said "sadness". "Do you see this?" Kirk asked, pulling the fabric of his shirt straight. Spock's brow furrowed, "It is a standard issue recreation shirt made of sixty-two percent cotton, seven point..." "Yeah, yeah." Kirk waved him to stop. "My point is: it isn't a captain's uniform." He paused. "So what I am about to do next is not the least bit official." Spock looked mystified. Kirk slipped his hand behind the narrow neck, rocked up on his toes and kissed him. He aimed it just right and dragged the edge of the inside of his mouth over the warm, dry lips, then opened his mouth again and made another slower pass. Spock's lips tasted salty and slightly acidic. Holding fast to Spock's neck, Kirk backed up and looked at him. Spock gave Kirk a stunned look as his control wavered. He raised his hand as if to reach for Kirk's face then pulled it back and clasped it behind his back and averted his eyes. His Adam's apple bounced as he swallowed hard. _Oh, my,_ Kirk thought. _He has it bad. Unbelievable, my Vulcan first officer has it bad._ Out loud he said, "Think about it." And withdrew his hand. "I don't think I will have a choice in that, Captain." Kirk grinned broadly, a mischievous twinkle lighting his eye. He considered the other again--Spock actually looked relieved. "You can go now," Kirk said. Spock hesitated a moment, nodded and stepped into the door trigger. "Happy New Year, Mr. Spock," Kirk's grin was evident in his voice. Spock turned in the doorway. "And to you as well..." His voice took on a matter-of-fact emphasis. "...Captain." ---------------------------