Title:  Own Private Inferno Author:  Dreadnought Rating:  PG Summary: 
 K/S Challenge:  KSOF, write a story where Kirk is hot rather than Spock
 is cold Disclaimer:  The characters and the Star Trek series are the
 property of Paramount-Viacom. This is an amateur work produced only for
 personal pleasure, not money. Feedback: spock42@yahoo.com

 Kirk was hot. Each breath burned the inside of this nose and, if he
 opened his mouth instead, the back of his throat. He was also starting
 to get a headache from the orange-red glare of the alien sun, but he
 couldn't force himself to stop squinting.

 "Perhaps you should accompany me inside, Captain," Spock stated. "You
 will be somewhat more comfortable there."

 Kirk swallowed against his sore, dry throat and held his hand up to
 shade his eyes. "No, I'll just take a walk while you take the tour." 
 He thought of the utter boredom of Spock's errand to the Vulcan
 Astrophysics Lab and decided a search for shade had to be more
 interesting.  He sniffled, the heat was starting to make his nose run
 as though it was actually sub-zero.

 Spock hesitated.  He watched his captain sway slightly, each breath a
 battle between comfort of lungs and comfort of proper oxygenation. "I
 really must insist, Jim."

 Kirk turned pained eyes to his friend and aquiesced with a shake of his
 head.

 Inside the lab, Kirk at least could stop squinting.  He tried to keep
 his coughing to a minimum as he followed Spock down a long hallway.
 They were introduced to various Vulcans. The air was still hot but
 livable in comparison to the noonday heat outside. A detailed overview
 of the lab's equipment and projects followed. Kirk managed to maintain
 an interested expression despite waves of exhaustion that urged him to
 take a seat and close his eyes.

 When the standard schpeel ended, Kirk waved Spock on and remained in
 the reception area instead of following.  As he waited, he examined the
 architecture.  His eyes strayed from the thick stone walls to the
 spherical optical diffusors bringing in natural light from the roof. 
 He tried not to stare at Sunel, the lab co-director as he tested a new
 public demonstration board along with an intimidated looking assistant.

 The quiet of the room seduced Kirk. He sat back and let his mind
 wander. He couldn't relax though as he felt chilled now from his own
 sweat, even though the room was warm.  He hoped Spock wasn't going to
 be too long.

 Eventually, Spock appeared again. Kirk opened his eyes and observed him
 as he gave the ritual gestures of Vulcan departure to the group from
 the lab.  Kirk stood up and waited patiently, now dry enough to find
 the room comfortable. No looks passed his way as the researchers
 departed back into their sanctum.  After the inner door slid closed,
 they stood alone in the reception area.

 "Are you ready to depart?" Spock asked.

 Kirk nodded, not trusting his voice to hide his impatience.

 The outside environment wilted Kirk three steps outside the door. He
 bolstered himself to make it back across the campus to their aircar.

 Trying to make smalltalk to hide his discomfort, Kirk said, "Well, I
 think you'll find this a very rewarding place to work, Spock."

 Spock stopped suddenly, his robe swishing ahead of him in the red dust
 coating the street. "Captain?"

 As Kirk stopped and turned, Spock's brow furrowed.  He could not detect
 any of the normal signs of humor that would associate such an unlikely
 statement. Spock had not hidden the fact that the lab had offered him a
 position, but he had also not belabored the point, as he had no
 intention of leaving Starfleet.

 Kirk shrugged and shaded his eyes. "Well, obviously they are far ahead
 in the kind of research that interests you, of course you'd want to
 stay."

 Spock stared openly at Kirk now. He failed again to detect any signs
 that Kirk was attempting to entrap him with his own gullibility.  "I. .
 .do not understand, Captain," Spock finally managed for lack of
 anything else to say.

 Kirk chuckled. "Spock, you don't have to pretend. I understand that you
 want to contribute more to basic science than you're able to on the
 Enterprise."

 The ground felt strange beneath Spock's shoes, as though it was
 attempting to fall away from his feet. "You wish me to stay?" Spock
 managed to ask.

 "You should do whatever is best, Spock," Kirk said encouragingly.

 Spock's mind raced ahead and cast about for explanations to this
 strange shift in Kirk. "Are you feeling faint, Captain?"

 Kirk gave him a doubtful look. "No," he replied, then started walking
 again. Spock hesitated then stepped quickly to catch up. He couldn't
 find any words to reply.

 They walked in silence to the parking area. As Spock stepped down to
 the pad with their aircar the tingle that had been nagging him since
 they left the lab coelesced into something tangible--they were being
 watched. He would have noticed it sooner had he not been inexcuseably
 disturbed by Kirk's statements.

 As he bent down to key the aircar door for Kirk, he glanced
 surrepticiously behind them and spotted a figure in the shadow of the
 building behind. He stepped slowly around the car, his entire mental
 outlook shifting one hundred and eighty degrees. Sixteen years in space
 had overridden Spock's basic notions about beings in general, including
 Vulcans. His glance at Kirk's questioning expression from the passenger
 seat brought an odd potion of anger, loyalty, and nausea to the fore.
 With a patient air he ran a basic system's check and started up the
 aircar antigrav engine. The figure had moved to the last row of parked
 vehicles, three rows behind them.  As they lifted off, so did a flat
 grey aircar.

 Spock kept his mind clear as though in meditation as he flew on manual
 up to the first level of local traffic. Glancing at Kirk threatened his
 emotional control, he instead concentrated on the course and way the
 grey vehicle matched their course changes.

 His parents would be home by now. He had to find someplace isolated to
 confront Kirk. The aircar was only rented for local travel so the
 dessert was out of the question. He thought about where else he had
 found silence as a youth. The answer coalesced out of his carefully
 controlled mind: The gardens.

 Spock signaled for a route change and watched with some satisfaction as
 the grey aircar followed moments later.  The gardens, a force-field
 protected area of plantings at the edge of the Shi Kahr plateau,
 mimicked Vulcan as it was a hundred thousand years ago: lush and
 crowded with wildlife.

 Spock dropped their car out of local traffic and into a parking space
 close to the entrance to the main trail.  He hurried Kirk out of the
 car and into the cover of the trees.

 "This is the botanical gardens?" Kirk asked, confused by their
 location.

 "Yes."

 Once under the cover of the thick growth, Spock's pace increased enough
 that Kirk had to jog to keep up.

 "May I ask what the hurry is?" Kirk asked in the tone that implies that
 he is close to exerting his will on the situation.

 "In a moment, Captain."  Spock heard the other aircar settle down on
 the far side of the pad.

 They turned along a sharp bend and Spock slowed and began looking for
 something alongside the trail. Eventually he found what he was
 searching for, and after checking that no one was around, he leaped off
 the trail onto a low burm alongside, careful not to damage any of the
 ground foliage.  He reached a hand back to Kirk who took it
 automatically. Spock heaved him over the burm and onto the other side.
 Without releasing Kirk's hand Spock led him quickly out of the trees
 and towards the cliff edge of the plateau.

 Tall boulders perched at the edge had captured sand out of the wind,
 thinning the plant-life.  Spock stepped out to the edge of the
 precipice and around into a hidden alcove. Kirk sat down on the sand
 and looked out over the broad valley.  He started to speak but stopped
 at Spock's gesture for silence.

 Spock sat down cross-legged and closed his eyes.  Over his years in
 starfleet it had been necessary to devise mental disciplines to shield
 his thoughts from a wide variety of alien intelligences.  He applied
 those disciplines now, a combination of heavy protection of his
 thoughts and extreme sensitivity to external telepathy.

 He didn't have long to wait. A loosely trained, strongly telepathic
 Vulcan mind was scanning for their presence.  Appalled at this breaking
 of Vulcan mores, Spock pulled back into himself and waited until the
 searcher moved on down the ten-click trail.

 Spock opened his eyes.  Kirk sat with his knees tucked against his
 chest, giving him a soft, patient smile.  "This is a beautiful spot."

 Following Kirk's gaze out over the Valley, Spock noticed that the
 blue-greens of the forest had spread farther than he would have
 expected.  The extensive plant-life was large enough now to produce its
 own environment for additional growth.  The thought that this growth
 could expand and one day cover the planet stunned Spock with its
 possibility.  He pushed that startling thought aside and turned his
 attention to his companion.  "Captain, can you tell me what happened
 while you were waiting for me at the lab?"

 Kirk gave him a doubtful look. "May I ask why?"

 Spock considered how to respond. If he were dealing with Orions or
 Klingons he would have to assume that Kirk's mind was booby-trapped
 somehow.  The dicotomy made him fatigued.

 "It is difficult to explain, Captain."

 Kirk studied him an instant and wiped the sweat from his brow before
 responding, "Sure." He shifted his legs to sit cross legged as well. "I
 watched Sunel and a tech setting up some kind of display in the foyer
 for a while, then I felt a little wiped out from the heat and closed my
 eyes. I suppose I might have fallen asleep since your tour didn't seem
 to take very long."

 Spock studied him closely.

 "That what you wanted to hear?" Kirk asked.

 "It suffices."  Spock stared at his steepled fingers in thought for
 several minutes before he decided how to proceed.  He shifted closer to
 Kirk, capturing the other's gaze.  "I need you to trust me in what I am
 about to do."

 Kirk stared at him a long breath before relaxing. "I certainly owe you
 a lot of trust."

 Spock looked into Kirk's open gaze tinted with question and affection.
 Was he so certain that Kirk's willingness to give him up was
 artificial? Spock wondered. Perhaps Kirk was simply doing what he often
 did: sacrificing his own interests for others.  But the Vulcan who
 followed them from the lab was not behaving normally, Spock reminded
 himself.

 Kirk shot him a questioning look and uncrossed his legs. Spock
 considered that Kirk's reaction to a meld might be anything. Anything
 his assaulter programmed into him. Theorizing that a Vulcan would have
 done this caused an unnatural knot in his chest.

 "Can you lie back, Captain?" Spock asked.

 Kirk's expression shifted to one Spock had never seen aimed at
 himself--a teasing accusation of naughtiness.  But Kirk did as
 suggested and settled back.  As Spock shifted on his knees beside him,
 Kirk asked, "You are feeling all right?"

 "Yes, Sir."

 "Just checking." Kirk settled his hands across his chest in a vision of
 repose.

 Spock wrapped one powerful hand around both of Kirk's wrists.
 Surprised, Kirk lifted his head. Spock pressed down with his hands.
 "Trust me," he intoned.

 Looking doubtful now, Kirk watched with no small wonderment as Spock
 stradled him.

 "I must really trust you," Kirk commented.

 Spock, caught in a quandry didn't respond.  He didn't want to invade
 Kirk's thoughts without his permission, but asking his permission might
 trigger a defense in Kirk's mind.  Spock sighed. "Jim, is there
 anything you have allowed to me before that you wouldn't at this time?"

 Kirk gave him a confused look.  His eyes flickered over Spock's
 dominent position. "I guess not."

 Spock frowned fractionally.  "There is nothing you would deny to me at
 this time?"

 "Deny to you?" Kirk repeated. "Spock are you sure you are feeling all
 right? Not having hot flashes or anything. . .well, you know what I
 mean."

 "I am perfectly fine."

 "You aren't acting like it."

 "Trust me, Jim."

 "That again," Kirk breathed. He tried not to test the strength of
 Spock's hold on his wrists.

 "You did not answer the question."

 Kirk looked over Spock's elegant features, eyes finally resting on
 Spock's brown earnest ones.  "No, I don't deny you anything."

 Spock bent forward and as Spock leaned over him, Kirk was so certain
 the Vulcan was going to kiss him he parted his lips automatically and
 closed his eyes even though rationally he wouldn't have expected such a
 gesture.

 Instead Spock's fingers contacted Kirk's face and the world blacked
 out. As he did so, Kirk's whole body heaved. Spock held fast to his
 hands and pressed down with his full weight.

 "Jim!" Spock shouted, trying to break through the barrier between their
 minds as Kirk thrashed madly.  In fear for Kirk's sanity, Spock neck
 pinched him. Breathing heavily, Spock moved to the side and released
 his hold.  He sat back and tried to keep his emotions in check. A
 Vulcan had done this to his captain. He shook his head. They were that
 determined to have Spock stay that they would break the most serious of
 Vulcan's laws.

 Sweat dripped from Kirk's unconscious forehead.  Spock lifted him
 easily and moved him more fully into the shade of the tall boulders
 surrounding them.


 Kirk was burning up. In his mind he danced on a fresh volcanic lava
 flow but instead of burning his feet, it was burning his mind. Instinct
 screamed at him to run but the sluggish black flow filled the land to
 the horizon. Small explosions hurled rocks and hot gas around him as he
 leaped from one crumbling crust to another. He scrambled for a solid
 surface and fell but instead of hot molten rock his hands encountered
 warm sand.


 Spock meditated lightly as he looked out over the valley.  Kirk grunted
 and sat up. "Are you feeling all right, Captain?"

 Kirk stretched his back and rubbed his neck with a grimace.  As he
 started to put his hand down he froze and looked sharply at his
 companion. "You neck pinched me?"

 Spock nodded. They stared at each other for a long time.  Kirk finally
 broke the look by standing up. He stepped past Spock and walked around
 the edge of the escarpment.  Spock hurried to follow.

 Listening ahead, Spock didn't hear anyone on the trail.

 "I apologize, Captain.  I had no choice." Spock said as he caught up
 with Kirk as he went over the berm down to the trail.  He could feel a
 shifting in Kirk's mind. A defensiveness that grated against Spock's
 telepathy.

 "Let's forget it for now and get back to your house."

 They continued back to the aircar in silence.  The grey car from the
 campus pad was still present.  Spock keyed open their car and they took
 flight.  Their follower seemed to have gotten lost in the gardens.

 Silence dominated the trip back to Spock's family house. Kirk sipped
 continuously from his water bottle and offered no questions.

 Spock parked the aircar beside the estate wall and followed Kirk
 inside. Sarek stood across the table from Amanda who was peeling fruit
 for a snack.

 "Did you have a good day?" Amanda asked.

 Spock had stopped in the center of the room. With effort he enforced
 calm upon himself. Amanda must have seen something in his stance
 because she set down the half-peeled bewbera and glanced at Sarek.

 In Vulcan Spock said, "We have a difficulty."

 Also in Vulcan, Sarek asked, "In what way?"

 Spock took a deep breath. He disliked having to explain his personal
 situation with Kirk. He watched the human walk over to the table and
 take a bite of fruit when Amanda offered the bowl. He continued in
 Vulcan, "I believe someone at the Institute today tampered with my
 captain's mind."

 "Spock!" Amanda exclaimed before calming. "You can't be serious."

 Spock glanced at Sarek and saw disbelief and disappointment there.

 "I am certain," Spock stated in a hard tone.

 Kirk wandered over to Spock and his father with a look that requested a
 translation.

 Spock continued, this time with more urgency. "He has been mined and I
 don't know what the result of triggering it will be."

 "And the purported purpose of this?"

 "To entice me to accept the offer of a postion."

 Doubt colored Sarek's eyes farther. Spock forced his hands to relax at
 his sudden anger.

 "Spock?" Kirk said, eyes shifting between the two Vulcans.

 "I know my captain," Spock stated slowly, ignoring Kirk. "He exhibited
 an unexplained personality shift. As his second in command it is my
 duty to monitor his psychological health and to investigate any changes
 in it."

 This tact seemed to get through to Sarek.  "And your investigation
 revealed?" he asked.

 Kirk put his hands on his hips at the continued incomprehensible
 conversation.

 "He became violent when I attempted to meld with him," Spock stated.

 Sarek's eyebrow angled upward. "You have done this before."

 Spock pursed his lips at this necessary revelation. He nodded and
 finally glanced at Kirk who gave him two raised eyebrows. Still in
 Vulcan, Spock said, "If you attempt to meld with him you will see."  He
 really didn't want to put Kirk through it again but his father's belief
 was necessary to taking action.

 Sarek turned to Kirk. "Captain Kirk," he said to capture his attention.
 "I ask if you are willing to allow me to share your thoughts?"

 "What?" Kirk asked, stepping backward. His eyes blinked rapidly and he
 pulled in a deep breath.

 Sarek smoothly stepped toward him. Spock ached to intercept his father
 but held still.

 "A mind meld. My son tells me you are familiar with them."

 Kirk's uncertainty blossumed into outright fear and he lunged backward
 without heed, striking the stone wall with his back. He couldn't seem
 to speak properly.


 Fire raged around Kirk, stinging his hands and face. Smoke clogged his
 throat and he closed his eyes against the inferno. He must escape,
 instinct raged at him.  He had to get out into the free air, away from
 the choking heat.


 Kirk's lips moved soundlessly as he felt his way blindly along the wall
 until he bumped into an obstacle, a tall display table, and fell with
 it.  Both Spock and his father moved to assist him but he tried to fend
 them off.

 He put his crossed arms up futily to protect himself and struck out at
 the clutching hands.   His struggles ended with another nerve pinch.

 Spock stared down at Kirk's unconscious form on the hard floor. He
 should move him, Spock thought.

 "Take the captain to your room, Spock. Cover him so he does not go into
 shock," Sarek ordered.

 Spock shook himself and lifted Kirk's limp form into his arms. He
 turned to go to his room, but his father stood in his path. Spock
 paused and let Sarek stare down at Kirk's slack face.

 Without taking his eyes from Kirk, Sarek said, "My wife, contact Healer
 Xanek."

 Amanda moved to obey and Sarek stepped aside to let his son pass.


 Spock's room was dark even for Vulcan eyes.  He gently lowered his limp
 captain to the bed and arranged his limbs comfortably.  From the closet
 he drew a thick robe and draped it over him as well.

 Finished with his immediate tasks, Spock stood staring down at his
 charge.  He felt as though he had been dropped into an alternative
 universe.  Sarek interrupted his thoughts from the doorway.

 "I have called a conference with several trusted associates in the
 district. As well, the healer is on the way." He paused, waiting for a
 response from his son.  When none was forthcoming, Sarek stepped into
 the room.  "Spock?"

 Spock shook himself. "I did not think. . ."

 Sarek drew himself up. "You are not expected to defend your captain
 against your own people, Spock," Sarek stated, correctly identifying
 Spock's thoughts.

 Turning to his father in surprise, Spock said, "I have found that
 danger can come from anywhere and the least expected are often the most
 dangerous."


 Xanek bowed to Lady Amanda at the door and, as he was ushered through
 the main rooms, to three Vulcans in conference. He did not inquire
 about their identities from his host, though he was curious. They
 stopped at a door off a back hallway and his host lead the way in.  The
 Vulcan sitting beside the bed stood up and greeted him. Xanek studied
 the occupant of the bed, a human male sweating profusely.

 "Your message was quite brief," Xanek began. "Who can tell me what has
 happened in detail?"

 "Spock can," Amanda said and backed away.  "I must return to the other
 room." She closed the door softly behind her.

 Xanek turned an expectant gaze on Spock. "I did not witness the
 assault. I noticed after I left him alone at the Astrophysics Lab at
 the Academy that my captain's personality had shifted in a very
 unexpected way." Xanek sat down on the bed beside Kirk and laid a hand
 on his chest. Kirk jerked in his sleep. Spock continued, "When I
 attempted to meld with him to ascertain the reason for this, he became
 violent. It was repeatable--he had the same reaction to Sarek."

 "Who do you suspect of perpetrating this?"

 Spock took a deep breath--he was not keeping his emotions properly in
 check. "I do not know for certain.  I do know he was with Sunel during
 part of the time I was absent."

 Xanek looked up at Spock with an even expression before turning back to
 Kirk.  He lifted his hand and felt his wrist, then ran his hand along
 the underside of his arm.  Kirk sighed in his sleep and turned his head
 to the other side. "What is his given name?" Xanek asked.

 "James. Or more commonly, Jim." Spock forced himself to stand aside
 calmly. He ached with inaction.

 "Jim," Xanek called and tapped Kirk on the back of the hand.

 Kirk's eyes opened. He let out a grunt as he raised his head and
 squinted around the dim room.  After stretching his neck his eyes found
 Spock and narrowed farther. Spock stiffened at the expression. Xanek's
 gaze moved between the two of them. The healer started to speak but was
 interupted.

 "You neck pinched me again," Kirk stated accusingly. "What the hell was
 that for?"

 "Jim, I-"

 "Get out of here," Kirk said.

 Spock stepped back in surprise.

 "Captain-"

 Kirk rubbed his shoulder. "I don't want to hear it."

 Spock's mouth snapped closed. He turned his gaze to the healer and said
 somewhat unsteadily, "I will be in the main room. . .if I am needed."

 Kirk turned away from his departure. He and Xanek sat in silence as the
 healer studied him. "Why would you lash out at Spock in such a manner?"
 he asked.

 "I don't allow disloyal crew to stay around me," Kirk said darkly.

 "And how do you know he was being disloyal? Do you know what is
 happening?"

 Kirk froze at that. "No. Do you?"

 "I am here to find out what is happening. But from what I do know I can
 assure you that your crewman is not being the least disloyal." He
 paused. "And I fear for him the damage you have just cause him."

 Kirk met his gaze with one of confusion. "What do you mean?"

 "I have never seen a Vulcan leave themself as vulnerable as he
 apparently does to you. Why he would do so when you are obviously
 willing to strike at him is not logical."

 A look of uncertainty clouded Kirk's face. "I don't like being neck
 pinched multiple times with no explanation," Kirk griped.

 "I would agree with that in principal, but the current situation is
 more complicated than most."

 "What is complicated?"

 "I will explain as soon as it is feasible to do so.  Right now, please
 take my assurances that everyone around you right now is behaving only
 logically."

 Kirk shook his head. "Do I have a choice?"

 "Not one that I am able to see." Xanek folded his fingers in his lap.
 "I would like to ask you a few questions."  At Kirk's shrug of
 acceptance, he continued, "How do you feel right now?"


 Spock sat down beside T'Res, an associate of Sarek's, and listened with
 as much attention as he could muster to the conversation.  The
 discussion was currently on precedent for such crime as a basis for the
 likelihood that Spock's conclusion was correct.  The strain of the
 situation was wearing on Spock's controls, he meditated lightly as he
 listened to bolster his controls.

 A half hour later Xanek emerged from the corridor. Every eye in the
 room turned to him.  "I am unable to report to you fully. I have need
 of Spock's assistance."

 Spock stood up quickly then gathered himself and followed Xanek back to
 his room. As they entered, Xanek said, "I have put him in a deep sleep
 for the moment, using hypnosis. Until I have exhausted all other
 avenues, I do not wish to risk a direct meld.  Unfortuneately, no
 action can be taken to approach Sunel, or the responsible party, for
 more information until I have managed some kind of meld to prove that a
 mental rape has been committed."

 Spock stood beside the bed, staring down at Kirk. "You require my
 assistance?"

 Xanek stepped closer to Spock, close enough to intersect his personal
 space. "I do not wish to impinge on your personal affairs, Spock, but I
 must ask you a few things. I am hopeful that you know your captain
 closely enough to attempt a pestr'a meld."

 "I am not familiar with that discipline," Spock stated.

 "I can train you in it. I need to know if you have any kind transient
 link to your captain from previous melds.  It would make the chances of
 the pestr'a successfully forming much higher." At Spock's hesitation,
 he added, "I do not need to inform Sarek of your answer."

 Spock pursed his lips, then answered, "Yes, I do have a link to him. 
 It is an intentional one that we use to determine if the other is in a
 dire condition."

 "That is most fortunate. I am concerned about forcing a direct meld on
 his mind."

 Spock studied Xanek a moment before commenting, "Sarek would not be
 pleased--I am supposed to be locating a mate."

 "Give me your hand, Spock. I will show you how to form a pestr'a."

 Obediently, Spock did so. Xanek's mind shimmered just outside his own.

 "Touch the link so I can see it.  It will help me instruct you."

 Forcing down his desire to rebel from this breach, Spock opened his
 mind and found the glistening cord of thought that linked him to his
 captain.

 "Very good," Xanek said. "What you need to do is rather than merge
 thoughts via intersection you will merely expand this thin link into a
 corridor that can be used to reach into James' mind."

 Spock considered this. He touched the link tentatively--it resonated
 with the golden warmth of Kirk's spirit--reminding him why he was
 attempting this.  "You will have to show me how to achieve this
 expansion."

 "It happens on your side of the link. You must open yourself to him
 fully and the link will swell to accommodate." Xanek reached deeper
 into him for just an instant and demonstrated.

 A twinge of distress at so much exposure passed through him.

 "I cannot force you to attempt this, but it is the best option for
 recovering your captain."

 Spock released Xanek's hand and folded his own in front of himself. "I
 need a moment."

 "Of course," Xanek responded and stepped back from the bed.

 Spock freed his mind from all other concerns as he studied Kirk.  The
 human's face was turned toward him on the pillow. His chest rose and
 fell in even rhythm.  The pestr'a would leave him direly exposed and
 the sting of Kirk's early comment still smarted. His own comfort was of
 no concern though.  As always he would give everything he had to this
 man.

 Spock raised his head and nodded that he was ready.

 Xanek crossed to the other side of the bed.  "Do not use a standard
 meld position.  Touch him elsewhere, such as his torso. When you are
 ready I will rouse him."

 After lowering himself to the bed, Spock pulled down the blanket and
 slid his hands under Kirk's tunic. Spock's hands settled, fingers
 spread, against clammy damp skin.

 "You will not have much time.  It would be best to catch him before he
 fully wakes." Xanek leaned down and said to Kirk, "On 'one' you will
 awaken, three, two, one."

 Kirk's body shifted as though it had grown uncomfortably stiff. Spock
 held his end of the link in his mind. As Kirk roused he threw open his
 mind without regard to his own safety. As Xanek had described, the link
 swelled open. Spock reached through it to touch Kirk's wakening mind.

 He fought against the drowsiness and drag of the half-slumbering mind
 pressed around his own. The cobwebs of sleep fast burned away as Kirk
 roused. The burning didn't ease and soon even Spock felt uncomfortable.
 Spock gathered Kirk's mind against his own so that he encompassed the
 meld instead.

 Fire raged around them in the human's mind.  Spock forced it back away
 from them with effort.  Kirk's sweat sheened body lay curled before
 him, his skin blackening in the heat.

 "I have water for you, Jim. Cool water," Spock said. In his mind he
 poured precious spring water over the steaming body of his friend.

 Kirk awoke more fully, startled to awareness by the odd sensations
 pummelling him. His lungs burned when he breathed. He squinted through
 the red flickering light around them to find a familiar shape beside
 him. "Spock?" he croaked, "help me."

 Spock poured water over Kirk's upturned face and down his steaming
 back. Kirk let out a sigh of relief and the fire around them banked
 downward and receded. A hand reached out and Spock flinched from it and
 put out his own to hold Kirk at arm's length.  If he let Kirk reach for
 him they would bond, Spock was certain of it.

 "I will prevent an accidental bonding," Spock heard in his mind.

 Xanek had melded with him and reached through the pestr'a with him.
 Spock's own arms faded as he was pushed back from the meld. Like an
 earth tremor he could feel Jim's uncertainty at this transition.

 "Jim, it is all right. It is Xanek, he will help you now."

 Exhaustion threatened to overtake Spock before he could gather himself
 and back out fully.  He thought he wasn't going to make it when, like a
 gatling gun, the meld swung away from him into an ordinary direct meld,
 and he was left alone, clinging to the edge of the bed.  His strength
 failed and he slid down to the floor, still holding the stone frame of
 the bed, and blacked out.


 Voices roused Spock. "Your son does not know how to hold back." Someone
 was lifting him but he couldn't find the energy to open his eyes.
 Xanek's voice again, "He has a very strong mind--he should have been
 sent to training."

 "T'Pau would not have allowed it," Sarek's voice now, much closer, and
 with a start, Spock realized his father was carrying him, not Xanek. He
 managed to crack his eyes open.  They were in the cooridor outside his
 room. The air felt pleasantly cool here but curious eyes from the main
 room tracked him. He squeezed his eyes shut again, wishing he was still
 unconscious.

 They rested him on the padded meditation stone in the room across the
 hall. He could have opened his eyes fully now, but decided against it.

 "I will work on him here." Xanek's voice.

 "You have enough strength?" Sarek now.  "We can contact another
 healer."

 A rustle of fabric. "He did most of the work on his captain. I am not
 fatigued."

 The door closed as Xanek settled beside him on the stone. Spock opened
 his eyes and sat up halfway.  Shame and disgust at himself threatened
 his composure. "I am all right."

 Xanek nodded as though he accepted that. "I can lessen your fatigue and
 your pain. The Pestr'a will leave you very raw as you are not bonded
 otherwise."

 Spock sat up fully, though his back bent with exhaustion. "I do not
 wish any assistance." He swung his feet to the floor and gathered his
 strength.

 "Also, I noticed your betrothal bond was not severed cleanly and is
 causing you much difficulty."

 Spock halted in his bid to stand. "You can heal this?"

 Xanek clasped his hands together. "Yes, Spock, I can."

 "Can you also heal the nightmares?"

 "Nightmares?" Xanek repeated.

 Spock nodded. "Occasionally when I am medicated I relive my Kunit
 Kalifee." He frowned inwardly, wishing he were not so desparate.

 Xanek was silent for while. "Your betrothed declared challenge?" he
 asked, surprised.

 Spock nodded.

 "I am not trained in dream healing, but I will see what I can do. I
 suspect the dreams are generated by the human part of your psyche since
 they are much more common to humans in general." He gestured for Spock
 to lie back.

 With a grimace, Spock obeyed.

 Xanek moved his hands to the meld points and began intersecting their
 minds.


 Kirk woke with a start. He was alone in a dim room. The shape of the
 light seeping around the shutters reminded him where he was.  He sat up
 and looked at his hands, expecting them to be burned. He shook off the
 thought. Drinking thirstily from the bedside caraffe made him realize
 his clothes should be wet. Patting them down and finding them dry
 confused him.

 He mentally stepped through what he remembered and froze when he
 remembered Sunel disturbing his nap. His assistant standing aside, head
 bowed. Vulcan strength far too much for Kirk even to offer token
 resistance.

 Kirk's breath came quickly now and his heart pounded as he remembered
 the cold filigree of Sunel's mind picking apart his own, rearranging
 just a few thoughts to suit his purposes, then leaving a dark wall of
 fear between himself and help. After that, snatches of Spock speaking
 to him repeatedly of trust, he wondered now why he'd had to repeat
 himself. And the burning sensation of the wall when he had finally
 entered it. Cool water from his Vulcan friend to extinguish it. Both
 had been in his mind, he realized.

 The dark wall was gone now and the fear was his own generated afresh by
 his conception of what had happened. His mind was free now. He sighed
 with relief and moved to set the empty caraffe back on the side table.
 In the dim light, he missed the edge and it crashed to the stone floor.


 Spock opened his eyes as Xanek released him. He felt free.  The aching
 irritation from the gnarled end of the betrothal bond was gone and only
 in its absense did he fully appreciate the distress it had caused him.

 He looked over at Xanek, hands steepled in light meditation. As Spock
 sat up, the healer gave him a look of question.

 Spock nodded.  "Much improved, thank you," he acknowledged.

 "I could not discern the source of your dreams." Xanek pulled himself
 fully out of meditation.  "If I were a human psychologist I would
 suggest you were suffering excessive guilt. But such things are not my
 area. You should consult someone for whom it is."

 Spock stood up, though not as smoothly as he normally did. "I shall
 consider it."

 A crash from the room across the hall sent Spock into a dash. He found
 Kirk sitting up with his hand on his head, surveying the broken ceramic
 beside the bed. "Jim," Spock came to a stop beside him and grasped his
 upper arms in concern.

 Kirk gave him a sloppy grin. "Missed the table. Didn't mean to bring
 you running."

 Spock reluctantly released him and sat down beside. "How are you
 feeling?"

 Kirk shrugged. "Not too bad. I remember most of what happened, I
 think." He glanced over at Xanek in the doorway who gestured to someone
 behind him.  The other figure disappeared. "I have you to thank?" Kirk
 said to Xanek.

 "I could not have managed without your crewman," Xanek stated.

 "He's always pulling more than his own weight." Kirk's gaze moved
 across Spock like a carress.

 Xanek spoke solemnly to Spock in Vulcan, "You should consider this one
 as a bondmate."

 Spock stared at Kirk, wide-eyed.

 "I am really very tired of people speaking Vulcan when I don't have a
 translator," Kirk growled.

 Xanek hesitated, then said in Standard, "I was suggesting to Spock that
 you and he are very compatible."

 "We get along all right," Kirk agreed then noticed Spock's expression.
 "Are you blushing?" Kirk asked in surprise. The edges of Spock's ears
 had gone dark green as well as his cheekbones.  "Maybe I
 misunderstood." He glanced up at Xanek and found no help in his stoic
 visage.

 "I will take my leave," Xanek said and bowed himself out.

 After the door closed, Spock met Kirk's gaze again. The scarring from
 his betrothal bond must have been clouding his thoughts as he saw Kirk
 very differently now.  He studied the human before him: Kirk's eyes
 held concern and affection and perhaps something deeper. The purity of
 his eyes was nothing like a Vulcan's would be. They held nothing back.
 They held no deception, no plotting of self-centered, logical
 arrangements. Just soft, yielding affection. Nothing that could cause
 pain.

 The potential of having this being as his own staggered Spock.
 Breathing became oddly difficult as he sat considering it. He needed to
 meditate on this, he decided.

 Spock moved to stand but Kirk grabbed his sleeve. "Do you want
 something more, Spock?" Kirk asked in his purely honest voice.

 As usual, Spock realized, Kirk was way ahead of him. "Perhaps we should
 discuss it later when half the Shi-Kahr council is not outside the
 door."

 Kirk grinned. "An excellent point."

 Spock tried to stand and this time, Kirk allowed him to.  "I expect
 they wish you to offer your version of events.  Xanek will have done so
 and his debriefing can stand for yours if you do not wish to speak."

 "No, I can go," he said and stood up to follow.

 At the door to the room, Spock stepped aside to let Kirk lead the way.
 Kirk paused with his hand on the door catch and turned to him.  "Let's
 make sure we leave time for that talk before the Enterprise returns,"
 Kirk said.

 "Indeed," Spock replied. He was grateful his hands were clenched behind
 him because they were suddenly shaking.

 Kirk didn't move, just looked at him for a long moment.

 "You are-" Spock began, then stopped. At Kirk's questioning look, he
 tried again. "Your are willing. . ." he trailed off.

 Kirk released the latch and stepped closer to Spock. He reached up and
 ran his thumb down the side of Spock's face from temple to chin. "I
 adore you," he said simply. "I would love to make love to you."

 Spock, frozen in place, made a small sound that indicated surprise or
 distress.

 Kirk pursed his lips in thought. "Very slow, careful love."

 Spock turned his head to the side in embarassment.

 Kirk moved his hand back to the latch.  "Let's get this over with, so
 we can get on with something more interesting."

 Nodding mutely, Spock followed.